Although I am not shy, I am extremely non-confrontational. I thought to myself that it would be very interesting to try the social experiment that is furthest from my nature; I would, for 24 hours, call anyone and everyone on their rudeness. At first I cringed at the thought of putting myself into such an awkward situation, but then smiled at the notion of finally having the courage to tell people just how impolite they really are. How difficult could it be anyway? After all, it would only be for one day. I was ready to start my social experiment, which would begin the following morning.

I woke up at 9:15 a.m., and, as I began to prepare for my day, I wondered to myself, “What if I don’t encounter any rudeness today?” (In hindsight I believe I grossly underestimated the number of times I am annoyed by the actions of other people on a daily basis.) After dressing I continued on to my first stop of the day: Vons grocery store. After parking I watched as a shopper, a middle-aged white female, finished loading her groceries into her cart, leaving the cart in the empty spot beside her SUV rather than walking it two parking spaces over to the cart return. I sighed knowing it is rude to leave your cart in the parking lot, both for the Vons employees as well as the shoppers who might have to move the cart to park in that spot. As I saw her enter her vehicle I ran to her yelling, “Ma’am, ma’am! I don’t know if you realize this, but you didn’t return your cart to the cart return. That is so rude. Why didn’t you walk a few feet to return it?” I stood there as she stared blankly at me, seemingly questioning if I was actually serious. I did my best to look concerned rather than angry. Before driving away she managed to mutter defensively, “I’m in a big hurry. I always return my cart.” I continued on into the grocery store knowing now that this was going to be a very long day.

I finished grocery shopping without incident, and after dropping off my groceries at home, went shopping at Forever 21. There I knew I would have at least one confrontation because I have found the shoppers as well as the retail employees to be equally rude. I was looking at a few dresses when another shopper impolitely reached around me, clearly invading my space. She seemed annoyed that I was “in the way” of her potential outfit. I turned to this young woman in her twenties and stated, “I don’t think you realize it, but you’re being rude by reaching around me and pushing me out of the way. Why are you doing that?” Again, I managed to stun another person. She looked confused but still managed to say, “Oh, sorry. I just couldn’t reach that dress, but I didn’t want to make you move.” Then she quickly moved to another part of the store. I was surprised to yet again get an actual response from someone I called rude, but I feel that it was the question at the end of the statement that helped them defend their actions. When asking the question “why” they have an opportunity to redeem themselves. Had I only called them out on their rudeness I feel most would have ignored me. I walked around with my arms full of clothing, struggling to continue shopping. A salesperson clearly saw me struggle with my items, but she did not assist me. After passing me three times in that state I walked up to her and told her she was being rude by not helping me with my items. She responded by saying she did not see me, and if she had she would have helped me.

The rest of the day ensued with a couple more incidents, but in those I was either entirely ignored as if I weren’t heard or glared at. Some of the “glarers” scoffed at me. It was interesting see how easily I could put strangers on the defense.  I could picture the woman from the supermarket telling a friend or family member, “Can you believe the nerve of that lady? She just came up to me, and lectured me about the shopping cart. You know I always put away the shopping cart!”

I thought to myself how I would react in such a situation (because I almost never put away the shopping cart), and I concluded I would probably be defensive as well. I could imagine myself apologizing, and coming up with a similar excuse about how I “forgot” or was so busy I could not possibly take 20 seconds from my time to return the cart. How dare you ask of it me? You don’t understand the pressure I’m under. It is so unlike me to leave it there. I would drive away almost convincing myself that I was busy, and suddenly the person who confronted me would be vilified, made out to be a monster who didn’t understand how things work in the real world.

Coinciding with the attribution theory, most of the people I confronted about their rudeness placed the blame outside of themselves. They didn’t know, didn’t see, or were helpless to their situation in some manner. When one feels they had control of a situation but failed to complete a given task the resulting emotion is shame. Weiner (2000) Blame, luckily, is easy to transfer and is a way for us as humans to maintain a healthy ego. I assumed this assignment might fail because I guessed people would simply ignore me. Little did I know that people will do anything and everything to protect their image for their public as well as their personal peace of mind.

It was fun to be outspoken, and call others out on their rudeness. I felt empowered somehow even though my behavior could be seen as rude by others. It was comical on my end to point out others shortcomings, perhaps because I justified my behavior myself by reminding myself this is all for a social experiment.

Women in the media are sometimes praised for being blunt. I grew up watching characters such as Roseanne Conner from Roseanne who put it all out, always saying exactly what the rest of us at home were thinking, only better. Oh, how I always wished to have the nerve of that lady. I took pleasure in having an “excuse” to say what I really wanted to say for once. For a minute I almost convinced myself I was performing a public service by informing people of their discourteous behavior until I remembered how irritated I would be if every move I made were outwardly judged by strangers. For now, I will keep my criticisms where they belong, in my head.

Weiner, B. (2000, March). Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Theories of Motivation from an Attributional Perspective. Educational Psychology Review, 12(1), 1-14.